every morning

every morning i wake up, turn on my laptop and look at the NYT headlines. I always hope and pray that i see "something" but i never do. I won't write what i hope i see because I might end up in jail.

Veiwtiful

I love the view out of my new kitchen window.

Refried Black Beans

flowers

carlos

All done!

I'm off. I already feel the energy returning.

Thursday: Day 8 Juice Fast

Am I done? Should I stop? Or should I continue for a day more. I'll need to go to the store. Therein lies the problem. Driving. I don't think it would be particularly wise to drive. I could probably drive to the Randalls around the corner. But I'm sure they don't have organic melons. That's what I'm going to start back with.

Again today, getting up was really hard. My heart rate goes up and it gets hard to breath. But then it eventually levels out and I feel fine.

I've been thinking a lot about broccoli.

Wednesday: Day 7 Water Fast

God, waking up is a bitch. Getting out of bed, getting dressed, don't bother making the bed. Tiring. It's too early to tell how this day will go.

Oh, the NP doctor called me last night. Pretty cool huh? A doctor calling you at home. We talked for a while. She said I sounded really good. She was very supportive. At least now, I know there is someone out there to go to if need be.

My cat doesn't like his food anymore. He meows pathetically all day.

I am so ready to be done with this fast. Tomorrow is my last day.

Later on in the day:

The day turned out okay. I worked till 4:00 or so. Not really feeling as great as usual. drank a little water spiked with juice.
Looking forward to bed.

Tuesday: Day 6 Water Fast

Today, Day 6 was very hard at first. I was tired and very crabby on waking up. I felt weak and depressed. I wanted to quit the fast.
I drank a small glass of black cherry juice. I had planned on drinking more but ended up feeling better as the day went on. The rest of the day turned out pretty good. I worked and went shopping. My tongue is showing signs that my body is detoxing. This is good.
My lower back is tender. This is another sign of detoxification. I don't want to quit. I want to give my body a chance to balance out.

I'm very happy with the way things are progressing. I finally found a NP doctor who can monitor my progress. This would allow me to relax a bit more.

I read a very nice article about fasting.

http://www.culturechange.org/e-letter-Fasting92.html

Monday: Day 5 Water Fast

Today is Monday. Getting up in the morning is very difficult. But once I get going, things are pretty great. I had lots of energy this morning. Made eggs in the nest for Carlos and Jenni. Was very peppy and happy. Hard to imagine that a person fasting on water could have pep. But I did.

I do struggle with boredom. You can't do much when you are water fasting. I pretty much laid on the couch all day. Watched Cinderella.....the stupid cartoon Disney one. I don't like that one. I prefer the Rogers and Hammerstein (1965) I wish I owned that one. I'll have to make sure I have it for the next fast.

Sunday: Day 4 Water Fast

Woke up not feeling so great. I think I was dehydrated from being at the beach too long the day before. After drinking a ton of water I felt much better. It was time to head home. We packed up the car and left.

Felt good on the way home. Very relaxed. Carlos was having a good time too. We stopped in Cuero for fried gizzards and tobasco sauce. Carlos' favorite food. Did I mention that we got them on the way down too, along with a Budweiser?
Carlos will only drink a Budweiser with gizzards. Never ever any other time.

At home I felt really good. Checking my heartrate and everything seems fine.

Saturday: Day 3 Water fast

Day 3 was pretty good too. In the morning, I walked on Water Street with Scout. Not really feeling bad at all. A little slow, but not bad.

It turned out to be a sunny beautiful day. We bought some cute new beach chairs and a yellow baseball hat for me and headed for the beach. Stayed out all day. Later on, I cooked for Carlos.

Nice day. Had a lot of energy

Friday: Day 2 Water Fast

On Day 2 I began the actual water fast. It really wasn't as difficult as I had anticipated.

I hadn't planned on doing the water fast but something told me to start. So I did.
I felt pretty good. It was kind of a drag to be on a vacation and not eat. I mean, aren't vacations about eating?

I made sure that Carlos had plenty of great food to eat and lots of cold Tecate.

It was cloudy and rainy on Friday. So we didn't go to the beach.

Thursday: Day 1 Juice Fast

Day 1, my fast began. I drank black cherry juice throughout the day. I spiked it with Mangosteen.
We also packed the car and headed for the beach. I felt really great.

Normal

One day, my son asked me why I couldn't be *normal*. Why couldn't I wear Keds like all the other moms.

Bonsai

A Bonsai tree has come to live with us. It is very handsome.

i do care

i usually lie to people and say that i don't care when they hurt me.

but really, in secret, i do care. A lot.

my new yoga floor

My Best Friend

This is my best friend. We've been friends since 1968.

Jordan Almonds

Need I say more?

Why are Salmon cans tapered?

Salmon cans are tapered to conserve space. When empty, the tapered cans are nested like paper coffee cups. Tapered cans require much less space to store and ship than cans that cannot be nested. Space is an important issue when shipping salmon cans to the remote locations of the salmon canneries, particularly in Alaska where everything must be shipped in by barge.

when i smell my dog

when i bury my face into my dog's neck, into his fur, i smell 12 years of my life. Children, teenagers, husband, houses, other dogs, cats, marriage, deaths, births, summers past, winters past, the sky, the moon, the earth, heaven, cookies, springs, house rabbits, divorce, tears, new life and peace. All in the fur of his neck. With just one deep breath, i'm reminded of it all.


and it makes me cry.


what will I do when he leaves me.

I had a friend

I had this friend.......well, I thought he was a friend. Turns out he's just a jackass.

How did I miss that! How did I not see that in the beginning. I'm such a dumbass.

Oh well. I'm sooooo way over it.

What was his name? hmmmmm......you know, I just can't remember.

I hope he still sends me work when he has it.

I guess I'll miss the music......yeah...I might.

****edit******Okay, so I've decided that I was wrong to say that he's a jackass. I mean, just because someone doesn't like me, does that make them a jackass? No. It doesn't. So he's not a jackass. I should have said, Turns out he didn't like me.

RSS

It seems I have Repetitive Stress Syndrome.

All the more reason to stay OFF the computer.....unless i'm working........

Dogs Roam

Dogs like to roam. And recently, I've discovered that I like it as well. We leave the house, my dog and I, not knowing where we'll end up or when we'll arrive back home.

I've started letting the dog lead. I follow him. After all, he's the "master roamer".

We go far and wide.

It's loads of fun.

Woof.

Hmmm......I think I'll go to IKEA!

Postponed stupid fast

feeling too crappy today to fast........a bucket of foil wrapped chocolate eggs would fix me up quick.....

Yesterday = Happy
Today = Want to stab something

my hands

i've been having trouble with my hands. i'm going to try to stay away from the computer unless i have to work. i'm happy about that. i thought i might try to read more. i've never really liked reading all that much. but i like the way it looks when people do it. i like fiction. i know that. but that's all i know.

tomorrow, i start a 4 day fast. just rice and water. and then i start a 28 day allergy exclusion diet. (yippee)

no wine or beer or coffee or any of the things i love. 28 days is not that long. i'll be fine.

i had a nice day today.

i'm happy.

YAY....

I got the job!!!!

I'm so happy.

Thanks Liza!!!


..........oh wait.......the pay sucks.........

oh well......

Yay anyway.

A Saleman

I told him that his challenge was the fact that I didn't want a car. See, I had the advantage I think. I could of walked out of his house of torture at any time. He was red and his hands were shaking. His techniques were not working.

"No thanks, I don't want to take the new car to lunch with me". "Your just offering so I'll come back and you won't lose the deal".

"Nope, I don't want to put $4000.00 down to", as he put it, "make the banks think I was serious".
$4000.00!!!! Where the hell did he come up with that number....Jesus, the car was only $13,999 and I had a trade in.

See, I wasn't serious. I didn't want the stupid car anyway. I could live without a car. Easy.

Yeah you.....

Curious George

Someone told me that the story of Curious George has racist undertones. I certainly never thought that. Not even once. I thought it was sad that the man in the yellow hat stole the monkey and took it to America. I thought that was really cruel and it always bothered me. But images of slavery?
It never crossed my mind.

Agony

Turning down a 10,000 dollar job (plus royalties) because you don't think you can work with the author and her husband on
their new book idea.

I think the stress gave me an auto-immune disease. Some kind of weird joint thing.

Vegetarian.....

That's what I told you earlier.

I told you that I couldn't eat meat for health reasons. What part of *I cannot digest it, it makes me sick* do you not understand.

The soup.

You said you made the soup for me. You said *It's vegetarian. I made it for you." It's potato soup.

But then 2 minutes later, you said "It only has a little bacon in it but I cooked it down so there were no oils left"

Hmmm...I'm not sure what that means, cooked it down. As if somehow that makes it a plant food.

How thoughtful of you.

No thanks. I'll just have the salad.

A Gypsy Tramp

There was a Gypsy Tramp at the party last night. I found her in the kitchen thrusting her breastful chest up against my man. Her purple, cracked lips were wide from side to side, nearly reaching each ear. She glared at me through narrow black slits and writhed when she realized that I had arrived to claim what was mine. She slithered backwards and out of the room.

Recycle

My neighbors are environmentally conscious. They have a can crushing device hanging on the back porch wall.

At the end of every day they methodically crush each of the 10 empty cans of soda pop that they've consumed that day.

5 for her, 5 for him.

I love the sound it makes.
Actually, there are two sounds. The *crush* and then the *clank*. The clanking comes when they throw the crushed can into the bucket. Crush, Clank, Crush, Clank.

Two sounds for each can.

10 cans, 20 sounds.

David

Scene:
Neighbor's backyard. 33 year old daughter (Laurie) *holding* 12' ladder that rageholic Father is standing on the very top of. Father cutting limbs off of tree with electric chainsaw. Children swinging close by.

Father suddenly yells loudly and furiously from the top of the ladder,
"God Dammit Laurie, what are you trying to do, knock me off the ladder"

Laurie entertains the idea in her head.

End scene

Galleries

I really hate going to galleries. Someone just gave me a heads up on a gallery opening.

Do people assume that because I'm an artist, I like looking at art. Or is it that they like looking at art so they think I must.

Actually, I think that most art in the galleries here sucks and it's very painful looking at it. It's like watching someone dancing really badly......it's excrutiating.

Maybe there is something wrong with me. Aren't I suppose to appreciate all art?....on some level?

Well, I don't. All I do is stand there staring and thinking that I have better ways of spending my time.

This feeling applies to listening to bands as well.

The Gate

When my *man at the moment* leaves the back gate, for a walk, he's all consumed with getting back. His steps are linear. Directed towards the end. Towards coming back. Any distractions or dilly dallying will not be tolerated.

When I leave the back gate for a walk, I have no intention of coming back. My steps are circular. Some short, some not so. I might go this way or that way. I might stop, sit down....or not. Dilly dallying is encouraged.

I prefer to walk alone.

Me